What is the best way to give oneself positive feedback?
There are two aspects I’m interested in… the productivity (what you did) and the happiness (how you feel about what you did).
Who is happier/productive…
a) The Perfectionist (a person who understands they can get the "A+" grade but often falls short (but often scores a "B+" or "A-").
b) The Non-Perfectionist (a person who doesn’t think they can get the "A+" but are just a capable of doing so)
THIS IS NOT FOR HOMEWORK BUT FOR PERSONAL KNOWLEDGE…I want to know how I can become more productive….lots more. I am the perfectionist and rarely satisfied with my achievements (since there was always more I could do).
Perfectionists tend to be procastinators because they want to finish a task all at once and do it perfectly. This means that they think they need to have the time in one chunk and the context must be just right (i.e. no aches or pains, no dogs barking, no kids interrupting, all materials ready and at hand, and so on and so on). Rarely, of course, do these perfect conditions exist so the perfectionist puts off tasks to the last minute and then does a rushed cruddy job. Sadness, guilt, self hatred, ensue. To be happy one needs balance and recognition. I agree with the list idea someone else mentioned. It is a concrete form of what you have accomplished. A reward for yourself for accomplishing your whole list or any part of it will make you happy. "I did good" -the same thing the kindergarten teacher does with her/his stars and charts or the mom does with a chocolate chip cookie for cleaning your room. Only now that you are a big person, you get to pick the reward.
This question is too complicated for me. But being a "perfectionist," is not a happy way to live. OCD is just another word for perfectionist. How happy could one be? Remember the movie, "As good as it gets?" Jack Nicholson, he sure was not very happy, till he let go of the obsessions. Any day above ground is a good day. So do as good as you can, and live, damn it live.
References :
Actually, what I do is start with the finished product (whether that’s a paper, a relationship, my kids – whatever the goal is) and define that as detailed as I can.
Then I look at what step would be accomplished IMMEDIATELY before attaining that goal. And WHEN.
Then what step IMMEDIATELY before that one. And WHEN.
etc. etc.
until I have a detailed step by step plan, with timeframes and milestones, to achieve my goal.
For example (very abbreviated):
I want to travel to DisneyWorld with my family.
STEP: we get off the plane
STEP: we get to airport
STEP: we purchase tickets
STEP: we save money for the tickets: $xx/mth for 7 mths (I don’t know the figure YET, but I know we will save.)
STEP: we select package and define budget
STEP: we price several airlines and packages
So now I don’t need to get the BEST price, or the BEST package. I know my goal, I know my steps, I know the timeline to get there.
And if I miss my goal, I have something to review, to see what derailed. Say, for example, we didn’t save the money each month. Lesson learned.
References :
Start Your Life NOW!
http://www.StartYourLifeNOW.com
I’d give myself a break if I had this problem. How much more "productive" can one get if they drive themselves over the top with their own being all the time???
If it were me I’d be settled with what God puts in front of me. Since He’s the only discription of what is perfect I trust my life will be full enough unless I cave into Satan’s lure and believe I have the power to replace God. At that point I’d learn real quick what it means to feel confused about who I am and what God’s plan for me is.
References :
Perfectionists tend to be procastinators because they want to finish a task all at once and do it perfectly. This means that they think they need to have the time in one chunk and the context must be just right (i.e. no aches or pains, no dogs barking, no kids interrupting, all materials ready and at hand, and so on and so on). Rarely, of course, do these perfect conditions exist so the perfectionist puts off tasks to the last minute and then does a rushed cruddy job. Sadness, guilt, self hatred, ensue. To be happy one needs balance and recognition. I agree with the list idea someone else mentioned. It is a concrete form of what you have accomplished. A reward for yourself for accomplishing your whole list or any part of it will make you happy. "I did good" -the same thing the kindergarten teacher does with her/his stars and charts or the mom does with a chocolate chip cookie for cleaning your room. Only now that you are a big person, you get to pick the reward.
References :